miserable me...
no one understand, no one want to help... that's exactly how I feel.. I'm not talking about all those stuff that money can buy... It feels like the only thing I want right now is a friend. A friend that can sit in front of me who can hear everything, hug me when I'm crying, agree with me when everything seems to go against me, never to blame me in anything... A person who can love me for who I am... The one that I can share my life with...
I just want someone who can always be there for me... talk to me softly, gentle and kind... not that harsh and straight forward like friends does. I need some one who can understand me, some one who can share with me...
I have a lot of friends, some are good, some are the best, and some are just nothing more than ex classmates... The best and the good ones always care for me... always been there for me when I'm in trouble, always support me...
I need someone who will never give up on me, who will say to me those positive words no matter what happen...
well, I don't know... I just want someone that I can share my life with... the one that will be there when I got home from work, asking about how was my day, put a smile on my face after a tiring day at the office... having a nice dinner together... share some laughs... do some stuff together....
gee... I'm sound like I'm somebody else... well, hafiz's changed now... he's grown up...
I'm too damn miserable!
I just want someone who can always be there for me... talk to me softly, gentle and kind... not that harsh and straight forward like friends does. I need some one who can understand me, some one who can share with me...
I have a lot of friends, some are good, some are the best, and some are just nothing more than ex classmates... The best and the good ones always care for me... always been there for me when I'm in trouble, always support me...
I need someone who will never give up on me, who will say to me those positive words no matter what happen...
well, I don't know... I just want someone that I can share my life with... the one that will be there when I got home from work, asking about how was my day, put a smile on my face after a tiring day at the office... having a nice dinner together... share some laughs... do some stuff together....
gee... I'm sound like I'm somebody else... well, hafiz's changed now... he's grown up...
I'm too damn miserable!
Sembah Takziah...
Sembah Takziah kepada DYMM Sultanah Zanariah
Sultanah Johor di atas kemangkatan Sultan yang dikasihi
Almarhum Sultan Iskandar ibni Almarhum Sultan Ismail,
Sultan dan yang di-Pertuan bagi jajahan dan takluk Negeri Johor Darul Takzim.
dan juga kepada kerabat DiRaja, Kerajaan negeri dan juga seluruh rakyat
Negeri Johor Darul Takzim.
Al-Fatihah
Sebagai seorang rakyat Johor, walau dimana saya berada, hati ini tetap berada di Johor. Pemergian seorang Sultan yang amat baik dan sentiasa mengambil berat mengenai rakyat dan kemajuan negeri. Semoga roh Almarhum ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Amin...
p/s....
Hurm... da lame x update... but I'll promise, I'll update my blog soon...
pic nih snap kat office... Arel dah dapat kije skang... nanti rel citer agi yer... :P
anywho...
A new turn... and a happy one...
Thank God, I finally got a job! hehehe... well, it is still not official yet, but the consultant gave me hopes that I'm qualified enough and that my chances are very high. I just got back from my interview just now...
I got back from JB yesterday via bus, with loaded things. My mum packed me a few stuff like a sleeping mattress, curtains, DYI wardrobe and some stuff for my laundry. She sent me at the bus station at Kompleks Pusat Bandar Pasir Gudang, and of course she cried... It broke my heart each time to see her cry. God, please make me strong... After waving goodbye, she went home and I was staying alone there when the bus finally moved. I went back to KL early ause I've received a phone call from one of the person that I sent my resume to... It's the Celcom Customer Service Executive job. I'm going for an interview with VADS. The working place will be at Celcom Tower at Jalan Semarak, which about 15 minutes from my place.
The interview will be held at Taman Tun Dr Ismail (TTDI), which is quite far from my house. After arrived at Kuala Lumpur, with that heavy bags, I walked to Masjid Jamek terminal, ride the train until Setiawangsa before went to home by bus. My housemate were at home, he took the day off. He told me about his plan of renovating the house. Great news! He even called some people to come to repair the leak in my room, and also to repair the bathroom. :)
After resting about an hour, I went down and meet up with my Jake. Damned! The birds sabotaged my motorcycle~ Jake's seat were fulled with 'little gifts' from the birds. I knew I shouldn't parked Jake over there. hehehe... After clean up Jake's seat, along with directions that I've downloaded from Google Maps, I ventured out to TTDI to find the route so that I wont get lost tomorrow morning. Gosh! the road was like... hell... with a lot of cars.. these was much more terrible than JB! well, it's KL, what did you expect... :P I cruised along the with Jake untill finally I reached TTDI. It took me about 30 to 45 minutes to get there. After scanning the area and detected the building for the interview (thanks for Sir Ram for his tips for interview that he thought in class) I went straight home.
This morning, I woke up early and after prepared myself, I went out for my interview which will start at 9am. I went out around 8am, and again.. traffic kills my mood. hahaha! I arrived at the place at 8.35am. Not bad eyh... After positive that I looked good on the mirror, I went inside the building around 10 minutes before 9. I was so nervous actually. There were another 3 people when I was up there, but they all came for a different position. A lady invited me in before a guy greeted me and took me into a small class room-liked, and gave me two set of papers - an assessment and a registration papers. I answered all those questions given - all the things that I've learned in English finally paid out... hehehe.... not long after that, I was joined with several other interviewees. Then a consultant, Ms Bavani - she was very nice and pretty - she's the one who called me and informed me about this job - she explained briefly about the job and everything, she also gave me another offer of related job. It is the same as this Customer service work, but it concern the NFSS - the National Fuel Subsidy System. That work will need me to workd at TTDI and start on Monday but the Celcom job will start on 4th February. I'm still considering it.
after a few moments then, the interviewer came in, and he said that we'll do a group interviews. That sounds easy. He asked a few questions, and I'm done. after that, straight to the other room, where I sat for a typing test. I done so well, that I've made only a couple of mistakes. I was the first one to go out of the room, and the lady said that my name has been shortlisted. Ms Bavani said that I should take the NFSS job as it will be a lot more easier since I'm the 2nd batch in the programme.
I'm glad everything has finally turns out right for me. Thank you to The Almighty, I'm so grateful now. I hope when I'll start working, my life will be even better.
well, that's it for now... I'll write more entries in the future.
wish me luck! :)
I got back from JB yesterday via bus, with loaded things. My mum packed me a few stuff like a sleeping mattress, curtains, DYI wardrobe and some stuff for my laundry. She sent me at the bus station at Kompleks Pusat Bandar Pasir Gudang, and of course she cried... It broke my heart each time to see her cry. God, please make me strong... After waving goodbye, she went home and I was staying alone there when the bus finally moved. I went back to KL early ause I've received a phone call from one of the person that I sent my resume to... It's the Celcom Customer Service Executive job. I'm going for an interview with VADS. The working place will be at Celcom Tower at Jalan Semarak, which about 15 minutes from my place.
The interview will be held at Taman Tun Dr Ismail (TTDI), which is quite far from my house. After arrived at Kuala Lumpur, with that heavy bags, I walked to Masjid Jamek terminal, ride the train until Setiawangsa before went to home by bus. My housemate were at home, he took the day off. He told me about his plan of renovating the house. Great news! He even called some people to come to repair the leak in my room, and also to repair the bathroom. :)
After resting about an hour, I went down and meet up with my Jake. Damned! The birds sabotaged my motorcycle~ Jake's seat were fulled with 'little gifts' from the birds. I knew I shouldn't parked Jake over there. hehehe... After clean up Jake's seat, along with directions that I've downloaded from Google Maps, I ventured out to TTDI to find the route so that I wont get lost tomorrow morning. Gosh! the road was like... hell... with a lot of cars.. these was much more terrible than JB! well, it's KL, what did you expect... :P I cruised along the with Jake untill finally I reached TTDI. It took me about 30 to 45 minutes to get there. After scanning the area and detected the building for the interview (thanks for Sir Ram for his tips for interview that he thought in class) I went straight home.
This morning, I woke up early and after prepared myself, I went out for my interview which will start at 9am. I went out around 8am, and again.. traffic kills my mood. hahaha! I arrived at the place at 8.35am. Not bad eyh... After positive that I looked good on the mirror, I went inside the building around 10 minutes before 9. I was so nervous actually. There were another 3 people when I was up there, but they all came for a different position. A lady invited me in before a guy greeted me and took me into a small class room-liked, and gave me two set of papers - an assessment and a registration papers. I answered all those questions given - all the things that I've learned in English finally paid out... hehehe.... not long after that, I was joined with several other interviewees. Then a consultant, Ms Bavani - she was very nice and pretty - she's the one who called me and informed me about this job - she explained briefly about the job and everything, she also gave me another offer of related job. It is the same as this Customer service work, but it concern the NFSS - the National Fuel Subsidy System. That work will need me to workd at TTDI and start on Monday but the Celcom job will start on 4th February. I'm still considering it.
after a few moments then, the interviewer came in, and he said that we'll do a group interviews. That sounds easy. He asked a few questions, and I'm done. after that, straight to the other room, where I sat for a typing test. I done so well, that I've made only a couple of mistakes. I was the first one to go out of the room, and the lady said that my name has been shortlisted. Ms Bavani said that I should take the NFSS job as it will be a lot more easier since I'm the 2nd batch in the programme.
I'm glad everything has finally turns out right for me. Thank you to The Almighty, I'm so grateful now. I hope when I'll start working, my life will be even better.
well, that's it for now... I'll write more entries in the future.
wish me luck! :)
Out of my chest...
I'm at JB this weekend. figured to go back since my mum still soggy and sad from my decision of moving to KL. Last Wednesday she called and said that she barely touch rice anymore... Again, it broke my heart... Thinking of her... a few friends of mine said that it was normal for mums to feel that way... after all, I'm the only son that she can rely on now... and I walked away from her... It makes me thinking back of these whole decisions, of moving out and find a job at KL... She called me everyday since last week, and so am I. Each time, at the end of the conversations, I heard her tone of voice turned from joy to sad.. So, since I'm still doing nothing, I decided to go home for the weekend.
To see her smile and the joyful in her eyes when I met her at home yesterday, meant the world for me... I hugged her so tight... I do missed her... that night I went to sleep a bit early, tired of sitting on a crowded bus and the sore for sleeping on the floor since the time I arrived at KL is still aching. I didn't tell her about my condition at KL, about the empty messy house without proper attention and about that house is much like an empty house that has been left 2 years ago, and also about the part that I sleep on the floor, jobless, surviving on instant noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. well, not everyday, but most of it. Thanks to my housemate, at least I got a company. He's done so much actually.
The main reason I went out of the house is because that I think I can't live with my step father anymore. One more day, and I would kill myself. Then, there were my dreams of living some other places, to see and to feel what it's like to stay in a different place, being independent, though I know it's hard now. I believe that I'm not a quitter, and I won't give up for all these small things. I will find a job, and make my room a better place to stay, and when my life is stable, I will try to help my mother. That's all... It's hard from the beginning, since I didn't have the support that I need. I'm afraid. Untill now, I do afraid.. so much... of being jobless.. thinking about all the expences that I will pay... I do really need a support from someone... but I've got nothing especially from the one that I'm counting on... I didn't have the place to tell about my problems, not many wants to listen, all they were saying was "sorry", "hurm.." "I don't know what to say", "...." or the worst.. "lalala~"
I was thinking of repacking all my things and go home to JB... but what will answer to my mother? and to my whole family? guess I will stay at KL then, and trying to make up my life. It's not so pretty now, is it? I won't give up...
It felt so easy here, with nice comfy bed, even with my old, smelly pillows... Foods are always available, everything is in the freezer... with my favourite channels of Discovery, Nat Geo, History and Animal Planet at that big screen. So much different from KL, where there were only empty halls, and messy room. With unfix bathroom, and dirty kitchen. I know it's hard but I'm sure I can work all these things out. I will try...
It feels so hard to leave Jb again, knowing that my mum will be sad again, and I will return to my miserable life... Sometimes, I just hate staying home alone, doing nothing [daah~ that's what I need a job for... :P]
I don't know, if there's another housemate in the house, things won't get so bored I guess... No offence, but the more the merrier, just like Britney said... hehehe...
All that I need now, is a little bit of support for me, so that I can be a lilttle bit stroger to deal with these whole things. Someone that I can rely on, sharing things, who can listen and help me with all this things... Birds can't fly without wings... even with wings, some of them did fall and died on the sideways... I'm just like a little bird who are trying to fly solo, flying away from the nest for the first time...
I hope I can cope with these... and I hope I can work things out... Wish me luck! :)
To see her smile and the joyful in her eyes when I met her at home yesterday, meant the world for me... I hugged her so tight... I do missed her... that night I went to sleep a bit early, tired of sitting on a crowded bus and the sore for sleeping on the floor since the time I arrived at KL is still aching. I didn't tell her about my condition at KL, about the empty messy house without proper attention and about that house is much like an empty house that has been left 2 years ago, and also about the part that I sleep on the floor, jobless, surviving on instant noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. well, not everyday, but most of it. Thanks to my housemate, at least I got a company. He's done so much actually.
The main reason I went out of the house is because that I think I can't live with my step father anymore. One more day, and I would kill myself. Then, there were my dreams of living some other places, to see and to feel what it's like to stay in a different place, being independent, though I know it's hard now. I believe that I'm not a quitter, and I won't give up for all these small things. I will find a job, and make my room a better place to stay, and when my life is stable, I will try to help my mother. That's all... It's hard from the beginning, since I didn't have the support that I need. I'm afraid. Untill now, I do afraid.. so much... of being jobless.. thinking about all the expences that I will pay... I do really need a support from someone... but I've got nothing especially from the one that I'm counting on... I didn't have the place to tell about my problems, not many wants to listen, all they were saying was "sorry", "hurm.." "I don't know what to say", "...." or the worst.. "lalala~"
I was thinking of repacking all my things and go home to JB... but what will answer to my mother? and to my whole family? guess I will stay at KL then, and trying to make up my life. It's not so pretty now, is it? I won't give up...
It felt so easy here, with nice comfy bed, even with my old, smelly pillows... Foods are always available, everything is in the freezer... with my favourite channels of Discovery, Nat Geo, History and Animal Planet at that big screen. So much different from KL, where there were only empty halls, and messy room. With unfix bathroom, and dirty kitchen. I know it's hard but I'm sure I can work all these things out. I will try...
It feels so hard to leave Jb again, knowing that my mum will be sad again, and I will return to my miserable life... Sometimes, I just hate staying home alone, doing nothing [daah~ that's what I need a job for... :P]
I don't know, if there's another housemate in the house, things won't get so bored I guess... No offence, but the more the merrier, just like Britney said... hehehe...
All that I need now, is a little bit of support for me, so that I can be a lilttle bit stroger to deal with these whole things. Someone that I can rely on, sharing things, who can listen and help me with all this things... Birds can't fly without wings... even with wings, some of them did fall and died on the sideways... I'm just like a little bird who are trying to fly solo, flying away from the nest for the first time...
I hope I can cope with these... and I hope I can work things out... Wish me luck! :)
I'm coming home...
By the time i write this entry, i was lying at the hall of my new house. It's alm0st 2 hours passed midnight, and my housemate is singing some song out...
It has been 5 days since i left jb. Bitter sweet... I came to KL by motorcycle. Kinda crazy aite? Heheh... It's truly an experience, but once is more than enough. Next time, i'll try p0st it thr0ugh KTMB or Pos Laju or whatever.
I went out around 10.15am that saturday. I hug my mum as she broke to tears. It breaks my heart to see her crying, and i was crying too. I told her that i'll be back soon. Seeing like that, makes me wanna give up everything and just stay there... After waving goodbyes, i went straight for the highways... About 25km fr0m home, and i cried al0ng the way...
I st0pped a few times along PLUS, and gave my mum a call, and she cried every time. I called her again when i g0t there, and once again she cried, and made me cry. I told her that i was safe.
I went up to my house, seeing th0se empty r0om, i sat upon the door, and i cried s0 hard, questioning whether is it a g0od decisi0n to leave jb, leaving my mum. I was s0 sad and br0ken hearted when i heard my mum's voice as she crying when we're on the phone.
Am i d0ing the right thing? And n0w, lying in this empty hall... I miss her... I really do.
I use to ran away whenever she nagged about something, but n0w, i miss to hear that...
I'm gonna get myself a ticket t0 jb tomorrow...
Mum... I'm c0ming home!
It has been 5 days since i left jb. Bitter sweet... I came to KL by motorcycle. Kinda crazy aite? Heheh... It's truly an experience, but once is more than enough. Next time, i'll try p0st it thr0ugh KTMB or Pos Laju or whatever.
I went out around 10.15am that saturday. I hug my mum as she broke to tears. It breaks my heart to see her crying, and i was crying too. I told her that i'll be back soon. Seeing like that, makes me wanna give up everything and just stay there... After waving goodbyes, i went straight for the highways... About 25km fr0m home, and i cried al0ng the way...
I st0pped a few times along PLUS, and gave my mum a call, and she cried every time. I called her again when i g0t there, and once again she cried, and made me cry. I told her that i was safe.
I went up to my house, seeing th0se empty r0om, i sat upon the door, and i cried s0 hard, questioning whether is it a g0od decisi0n to leave jb, leaving my mum. I was s0 sad and br0ken hearted when i heard my mum's voice as she crying when we're on the phone.
Am i d0ing the right thing? And n0w, lying in this empty hall... I miss her... I really do.
I use to ran away whenever she nagged about something, but n0w, i miss to hear that...
I'm gonna get myself a ticket t0 jb tomorrow...
Mum... I'm c0ming home!
2010...
31 Disember 2009... Terasa macam tiba-tiba kita dah berada di penghujung tahun. hari ni hari terakhir kita di tahun ni... biasanya, soalan lazim orang akan tanya ialah.. Apa azam baru? siapa azam? kawan? boypren? sepupu? tukang kebun skolah? hehehe... well, azam or target tetiap tahun le yer... well, di akhir tahun yang mulia ini, rel tak sempat nak meletakkan azam baru... wakaka! sangat sebok dengan macam-macam hal... but sesibuk macamane pon, pada rel, azam tiap-tiap tahun nih penting sebab dengan adanya azam tuh, ada la jugak hala tuju dan target kita pada setiap tahun...
sebelum nak cerita pasal azam baru.. nak tanye dulu... azam tahun lepas tercapai tak? wakaka! Rel rase, rel dah capai la sket azam tahun 2009 walopon tak spenuhnya... tahun 2010 punye azam nih, rel kene teliti tol2... sebab masuk tahun baru nih, macam2 yang baru untok rel...
Rel bukan lagik student since rel dah abes study Dec 09 nih... smalam pon result dah kluar.. n Alhamdulillah... result yang agak menggembirekan jiwe dan rage.. heheh... rel dapat 3.57 tok sem 6... total CGPA dapat ler 3.35... oke la tuh... berbangge la jugak... walo tak seberape kan... :P tak sangka Tourism Planning dapat A-... tak sesia rel menghafal buku Edward Inskeep yang tetebal tuh.. hehehe.... English.. well... thank goodness, berjaye maintain 4flet yer sedare sedari sekalian.. heheh... untuk sem ke 3 berturut2... hatrik dah nih... ngee~ dah abes blaja, means rel kene letak hala tuju dalam hidup n rel memilih untuk bekerja (more to 'terpaksa' tok berkerja sebab tak dpat sambung study... :P) rel ngah mencarik kije la skang nih...
Other than that, rel dah tak stay Pasir Gudang... Barang sumer dah angkut ke Kuala Lumpur 26hb Dec arituh.. stay ngan member di Keramat. Rel decide nak keluar dari Johor and cube nasib kat tempat baru... sejujurnya, rel agak takut nak mulekan hidup baru kat tempat baru... tanpa support dari sesape... sampai hari ni rel masih berfikir sama ada betul atau tak keputusan yang rel buat nih... tapi rel da angkat barang, so teruskan je la... rel anggap semue nih sebagai satu cabaran dalam hidup... Actually, KL nih takde lah asing sangat pada rel, sebab umah nenek pon kat sini... ramai sedare n adek badek di KL... ngee~ tapi, still... rel rase takot jugak nak start a new life nih... afraidthat I will make mistakes that will ruin everything... hopefully not...
Rel pon da ade rumah baru kat Keramat. AU3... view yang cantek from my window.. leh nampak bangunan Highland Tower darik bilik rel... hehehe... Cume rel tak brape biase sangat dengan kawasan Keramat nih... sebab slalu rel stay kat Sri Gombak jew... Takpe lew... lelame nanti byase la tu kot... :P
so, apa azam tahun 2010 rel? hurm...
Rel harap tahun 2010 nih akan jadik lebih baik dari tahun-tahun sebelumnya... rel nak cube ubah diri rel untuk jadik lebih baik dari sebelumnya... and semoga tahun 2010 nih akan membuka lebih banyak peluang untuk rel realisasikan impian dan cita-cita rel... :)
Selamat tinggal 2009... tahun yang memmberikan pelbagai pengalaman dan memori berharga dalam hidup rel... Selamat menyambut tahun baru 2010 untuk sumer bloggers dan jugak pembace blog rel... time kaseh kerana masih membace entry rel yer...
Arel berkate: Weekend nih nak kemas bilik kat Keramat... nanti rel snap a few pic tok tatapan korang sumer, umah baru rel yer... :)
sebelum nak cerita pasal azam baru.. nak tanye dulu... azam tahun lepas tercapai tak? wakaka! Rel rase, rel dah capai la sket azam tahun 2009 walopon tak spenuhnya... tahun 2010 punye azam nih, rel kene teliti tol2... sebab masuk tahun baru nih, macam2 yang baru untok rel...
Rel bukan lagik student since rel dah abes study Dec 09 nih... smalam pon result dah kluar.. n Alhamdulillah... result yang agak menggembirekan jiwe dan rage.. heheh... rel dapat 3.57 tok sem 6... total CGPA dapat ler 3.35... oke la tuh... berbangge la jugak... walo tak seberape kan... :P tak sangka Tourism Planning dapat A-... tak sesia rel menghafal buku Edward Inskeep yang tetebal tuh.. hehehe.... English.. well... thank goodness, berjaye maintain 4flet yer sedare sedari sekalian.. heheh... untuk sem ke 3 berturut2... hatrik dah nih... ngee~ dah abes blaja, means rel kene letak hala tuju dalam hidup n rel memilih untuk bekerja (more to 'terpaksa' tok berkerja sebab tak dpat sambung study... :P) rel ngah mencarik kije la skang nih...
Other than that, rel dah tak stay Pasir Gudang... Barang sumer dah angkut ke Kuala Lumpur 26hb Dec arituh.. stay ngan member di Keramat. Rel decide nak keluar dari Johor and cube nasib kat tempat baru... sejujurnya, rel agak takut nak mulekan hidup baru kat tempat baru... tanpa support dari sesape... sampai hari ni rel masih berfikir sama ada betul atau tak keputusan yang rel buat nih... tapi rel da angkat barang, so teruskan je la... rel anggap semue nih sebagai satu cabaran dalam hidup... Actually, KL nih takde lah asing sangat pada rel, sebab umah nenek pon kat sini... ramai sedare n adek badek di KL... ngee~ tapi, still... rel rase takot jugak nak start a new life nih... afraidthat I will make mistakes that will ruin everything... hopefully not...
Rel pon da ade rumah baru kat Keramat. AU3... view yang cantek from my window.. leh nampak bangunan Highland Tower darik bilik rel... hehehe... Cume rel tak brape biase sangat dengan kawasan Keramat nih... sebab slalu rel stay kat Sri Gombak jew... Takpe lew... lelame nanti byase la tu kot... :P
so, apa azam tahun 2010 rel? hurm...
Rel harap tahun 2010 nih akan jadik lebih baik dari tahun-tahun sebelumnya... rel nak cube ubah diri rel untuk jadik lebih baik dari sebelumnya... and semoga tahun 2010 nih akan membuka lebih banyak peluang untuk rel realisasikan impian dan cita-cita rel... :)
Selamat tinggal 2009... tahun yang memmberikan pelbagai pengalaman dan memori berharga dalam hidup rel... Selamat menyambut tahun baru 2010 untuk sumer bloggers dan jugak pembace blog rel... time kaseh kerana masih membace entry rel yer...
Arel berkate: Weekend nih nak kemas bilik kat Keramat... nanti rel snap a few pic tok tatapan korang sumer, umah baru rel yer... :)
